Without A Word
by DarknessCatchingFire
Summary: When Lily's mum dies, smothered by pain she locks away her words, unable to speak. Surprisingly James Potter is the only who seems to understand. He no longer presses his feelings on her but instead shows her a gentle understanding that she can't refuse.
1. Chapter 1: Wrong

**Author's Note:**** Hey readers! It's only been like a year since I last posted a story! It was a busy a year. But now I'm back with a new Harry Potter story! Another Lily/James since the last one I wrote (and never finished) was basically an epic fail. I don't know if this story will be popular or not but I liked the idea (obviously) and I hope you lovely readers will like it too! I'll attempt to update at least once a week. Now enjoy the first chapter!**

**Chapter 1: Wrong**

"Our first full day of our sixth year at Hogwarts is now officially over!" My best friend, Mary Macdonald, said with a tired smile as we flopped simultaneously into cushiony maroon armchairs in the Gryffindor common room.

"I hate school work," Carter Bait, my other best friend, complained. "It's the first day and we've already been given an essay in charms! I swear the professors just love to make us suffer."

"Isn't it wonderful?" Mary sighed. She'd already finished the essay at lunch. That was Mary for you.

Carter gaped at her in horror. "It is most certainly not!"

I yawned and stretched, brushing my dark red hair from my face. I had no desire to contribute to the conversation. Mary and Carter's personalities often clashed thanks to their opposing personalities and I had long ago learned to try my hardest not to get stuck in the middle of their arguments. It never turned out pretty. However as the minutes slipped past and their bickering didn't relent I finally saw fit to throw out my own opinion in an attempt to quiet them.

"I wouldn't call school work _wonderful_ Mary, but really Carter it's not quite _that_ bad," I mumbled tiredly.

Carter's gaze flickered between Mary and I. "You people are crazy!"

I just rolled my eyes. "But we're also your amazingly incredible best friends." It was strange how Mary, Carter, and I had somehow ended up as best friends. We were all so different.

Carter Bait was a halfblood. Her mum was a muggle and her dad was a wizard. She was fearless, very boyish, and preferred to be playing sports over anything else. Her school uniform usually looked less than pristine. Her robes hung open or were discarded entirely, her tie was always loose, her shirt was rarely tucked in, and sometimes she wore jeans instead of the required skirt. It had taken three years before the teachers finally gave up their attempts to change this and resigned themselves to silently handing her detention slips without the lengthy lectures they'd once given. Carter's black hair was cut to her chin and her favorite outfit consisted of a baggy t-shirt and basketball shorts. She didn't care much for schoolwork and usually put it off for personal Quidditch practice or going over game plays. She was a beater on the Gryffindor Quidditch team.

Mary McDonald was her opposite in every way. Mary was rich, pureblood, and used to the high life. She was the most girly, giggly, dramatic person I knew. Her clothes were designer and every outfit was put together with care. She was constantly looking in mirrors, checking her makeup, dabbing at the eyeliner highlighting her bright blue eyes, and fixing her perfect waist-length silvery blond hair. Unlike most girls of her status she wasn't a total airhead though. She was smart enough to be in Ravenclaw and a total know-it-all. She loved schoolwork and could always be found with a book in her hands. She was terrified of everything: spiders, mice, snakes, moths, the dark, heights, water, small spaces, lightning, boys, and a number of other things. She usually confronted these things with high pitched squeals, screaming, and tears.

"Potter alert!" Mary squeaked, her long pale fingers fidgeting nervously with the hem of her shirt.

I looked up at once. If there was one thing we all agreed on it was that the Marauders were all very annoying, James Potter most of all. They could be alright sometimes when they weren't pulling pranks and acting like complete prats but most of the time that's exactly what they were doing.

"Hey Lily."

"No I will not go out with you," I said automatically at the sound of James's voice right behind me. I twisted in my chair to look at him.

James laughed. "That's too bad. So, now that we've got that out of the way, I came to invite you to the big start of school party in the common room tonight. Think you'll be there?"

I hesitated a moment before nodding. "Fine, I'll come."

"Awesome! Can't wait to see you there!" He said enthusiastically. His face was bright with boyish happiness. It was almost adorable. Almost.

I watched him race away with amusement tugging at the corners of my mouth.

"A party huh? Sounds fun," Carter shrugged.

"I can wear my new dress!" Mary exclaimed.

I chuckled and nodded, "I'm sure we'll have a blast as long as Potter keeps his grabby little hands to himself this year."

I heard the portrait hole creak open and thought nothing of it until I noticed the surprised looks of people around us. Turning once again in my chair I watched Professor McGonagall climbing through. She spotted me at once and briskly strode my way.

"Lily Evans, the headmaster sent me to collect you. He would like to speak with you in his office," she said softly.

I slowly rose out of my armchair. I glanced at my friends, wondering if they had any idea what was going on. They looked as confused as I felt. With a slight frown on my face I followed Professor McGonagall out of the common room.

We walked through the stone hallways until we reached the entrance to Dumbledore's office. "Skittles" was the password that opened up the wall. We climbed the stairs until we reached a heavy wooden door. The professor knocked and was answered with a soft 'come in'. I opened the door and stepped inside. Professor McGonagall did not come with me.

Dumbledore was sitting behind his desk, watching me sadly. He gestured to the chair facing him. "Please sit down Miss Evans."

I sat. My gaze drifted to the fire red phoenix perched behind him. It gazed back at me with intelligent eyes.

"I am sorry but I'm afraid I must be the bearer of bad news. The worst I can bring," the headmaster said quietly. The agony underlying his words and etched into his wrinkled face sent a shot of fear, burning like acid poison, through my veins.

"What's happened?" My voice trembled like a small child's.

"I am so terribly sorry my dear girl. Your mother was attacked by death eaters," Dumbledore said quietly.

I stared out the window behind him. I struggled to stay calm. "She'll be ok right? We can fix it?"

There was a brief, heavy silence.

"Right?" I demanded, swinging my eyes around to meet his electric blue ones.

Fear, anger, and pain twisted in my stomach, making me nauseous. The calm sympathy in the old wizard's face made me want to throw things. It made me want to smash things to bits until all the calmness fled his being.

"I'm truly sorry. Your mother is dead."

Dead. My mother. Those words didn't make any sense together. They weren't possible. Just yesterday she'd seen me off at the train station, her lovely young face vibrant and alive, and her loving embrace warm and reassuring.

"I don't believe you." My voice was ice, hard and painfully cold.

Dumbledore bowed his head so that I couldn't see his face. The floor tipped precariously. I was dizzy.

"I DON'T BELIEVE YOU!" I screamed, jumping to my feet and knocking my chair to the ground in the process.

The old white-haired wizard continued to sit still with his face out of my view. He looked so calm. He looked so bloody calm. I despised him. I hated him for his calm and his lies about my mother.

I walked swiftly to the door. My heavy footsteps echoed in the unbearable silence following my scream. I tugged the wooden door open and looked back, half expecting him to stop me. The headmaster raised his head. His eyes were filled with tears.

I ran.

I flew down the stairs. My feet carried me through the twisting corridors at a sprint. Someone called my name as I burst through a door and out onto the grounds. I ignored them.

What did they matter? What did I matter? What did anything matter when the world was so wrong? Why should I care about anything when Dumbledore's eyes glittered with tears at the sight of my pain and horrible words that may not actually be a lie floated from his lips like toxic gas that seeped its way into my breaking heart, tainting it with something dark and agonizing?

I screamed at the sky. I screamed until my throat felt as if it would tear apart under the pressure of my weakening voice. It was all I could do, for my pain was beyond words.

**Ending Note: ****Please review! I want to know what you guys thought. Is the story off to a good start? Is there anything I can work on? Constructive criticism is always appreciated as I like to improve my writing style and enjoy compliments too. :)**


	2. Chapter 2: Broken

**Author's Note:**** Two chapters in one day! Yay! So **_**Siriusly loving Snape**_** left me a review that made me so happy I wanted to post another chapter! She even sent her friend the link and had her read it too! **_**The Sky's the Limit**_** left me a lovely review too! Thanks you two! Getting such quick positive responses made my day! So, this chapter is your present! It's kind of short and really depressing but I felt it was important to explain the emotions that led to Lily locking away her words and becoming mute. Enjoy!**

**Chapter 2: Broken**

"Lily."

For a wild, crazy moment I let myself have the insane thought that it might be my mum calling my name. It took only a fraction of a second to realize how completely stupid that thought was. My mum would never speak again. Besides, the voice was distinctly male.

"Lily," the boy said again.

I didn't move from where I lay on the cold grass. I didn't even open my eyes. I wanted to scream at the guy to go away and let me suffer alone but I didn't have the will to even move my mouth.

"Lily, Professor Dumbledore sent me to get you. It's 8:00. You missed dinner."

I continued to remain perfectly still. His words meant nothing. The turned to static the moment they reached my ears.

"Oh Lily," the boy sighed sadly.

It was then that I realized who he was. It was James Potter. How strange to think that not long ago he'd been one of my biggest problems. Now my small quarrels with him seemed so insignificant.

I didn't so much as twitch when a hand went under my head, an arm slipped under my legs, and I was scooped into his arms. I wanted to bite and scratch and shriek at him to let me go but I lacked the strength to do more than hang limply in his arms as he cradled me against his chest and began walking.

James didn't speak as he carried me even though I'm sure he knew that I was awake. I was grateful for that. Yes, somewhere amongst all of my shock and pain I found it in myself to be grateful.

The funeral was horrible. It was the worst experience of my entire life. I stood as frozen as an ice sculpture as I watched them lower my mother's coffin into the earth. I'd barely made it through the viewing and the service.

My spirit had broken when I'd looked down at my mum's dead face. It was cold and empty in death. Her expression seemed stern, so much different than the way I remembered it, always with a warm smile and a sparkle of joy and love in her twinkling green eyes that were exactly like mine. Her skin was white, drained of color. Someone had painted her lips with lipstick the color of blood. I shuddered at the gruesome thought and chocked back a sob.

I wanted to embrace my mum again. Her arms always felt so safe, so comforting. I wanted to see the loving look she always had for me, no matter how angry or frustrated she was with me. I wanted her to kiss me on the top of my head and tell me that no matter how old I got I'd always be her beautiful little baby girl. I wanted to feel her gentle fingers braiding my hair as she gave me advice.

I missed my mother's understanding. I missed her smile. I missed her voice. I missed her love. I missed everything about her with such a deep ache that it seemed to fracture my very soul.

My dad hadn't looked at me once since mum's death. He hadn't spoken to me or acknowledged my presence at all. There'd been no greeting, no words of comfort, no mourning together. It seemed like he couldn't even stand to look at me.

My sister made it very clear that she blamed me for our mum's death. I was a freak and if I hadn't been born she wouldn't have died. I was beginning to wonder if Petunia was right. If I was a witch they might never have targeted mum. If I wasn't here then she might still be alive.

I loathed myself.

"_Mum_," I thought as I watched her coffin disappear from view. "_I'm sorry. I wish you were here. You'd understand what I'm feeling right now. You always did_."

My lips trembled and I thought about the insignificance of words. My mum couldn't hear them. Words were useless. They couldn't describe my agony or my sorrow. All they could do was understate them. I hadn't been able to speak since I'd screamed at Professor Dumbledore. I wasn't sure why that was. Was it the shock? Was it all of those horrible painful emotions that had been slammed into me all at once? Was it the fact that I found words so useless and meaningless? I didn't know. All I knew was that the words hovered just out of reach, my mouth able to form them but my voice unable to put any force behind them.

Everything blurred and I panicked for a moment before I realized that it was tears distorting my vision. I made no attempt to wipe them away as they slipped down my cheeks. Maybe mum could see them wherever she was and knew that they meant I missed her.

They were finished lowering the casket now. It was lying deep in the earth. My mother's body was being locked away all alone in a cold dark box deep beneath the ground. It seemed terrible that those who die do so alone. The only thing that truly remained of them was the lingering handprint of their love on the hearts of those whose lives had just changed forever.

It was a horrible thing to bury my mother. It carved deep scars into my heart and plunged my world into a wordless darkness.

I was utterly broken.

**End Note:**** So what did you think? Still doing well? Anything I need to work on? Was this too much angst? Don't worry the entire story isn't going to be like this, things start to happen soon and James comes in next chapter! Woooo! I love James in this story. Anyways, please leave a review! I love to hear from you guys!**


	3. Chapter 3: A Touch Of Light

**Author's Note:**** Hey everybody! Here's the next update! I would have put it up sooner but my computer monitor was broken last week. Sad day right? I'd like to thank **_**I am Siriusly loving Snape**__**, **__**lexi427**__**, **__**The Sky's the Limit, and**____**Weasley-and-Proud**___** for your wonderful reviews! They make me really happy! You guys are awesome! Now enjoy chapter three.**

**Chapter Three: A Touch of Light**

Two weeks. It had only been two weeks since my mother's funeral and I was already back at Hogwarts. I didn't want to be here. I didn't want to be at home either. I didn't want to be anywhere really. I wanted to cease existing. Perhaps then the pain would go away.

"Lily!" Mary cried when I entered our room, pulling my trunk behind me. "Oh I heard the _dreadful_ news and it's just terrible! You poor dear!"

She leapt across the room to smother me in a hug. I stood board stiff. Her arms felt odd around me, not like my best friend's but like a strangers, and the constant stream of condolences that she kept up throughout the uncomfortable hug annoyed me. Mary didn't seem to notice my response as she let go. Carter did though and she hovered nearby looking worried.

"I'm just so shocked that this happened." Mary was still talking. "This whole thing is just awful. Don't worry though you'll be better soon. We'll help you through this."

I shrugged away from Mary and sat on my bed staring straight ahead, my gaze empty. Mary asked me something but I barely understood. My attempts to tune out her stupid chatter finally seemed to be working.

"Lily! Are you alright?" Mary's shout finally broke through my haze as she shook my arm.

"Don't be stupid. Of course she isn't alright," Carter snapped.

"I…I just… Why isn't she talking? Did something happen to her?" Mary whimpered.

"I've heard of this happening to other people. Sometimes when someone goes through a big emotional trauma they lock away their words. I think that's what happened to Lily," Carter explained.

"Oh Lily!" Mary cried. "You poor thing!"

I knew that she had good intentions but her words were seriously starting to piss me off. I'd arrived at the school late and I was tired. I pulled my pajamas out of my trunk and changed into them, then slipped beneath my covers.

"Goodnight Lily," Carter's voice was gentle and sad.

"Ya, night," Mary added.

I didn't reply. They didn't expect me to.

I closed my eyes and waited for the nightmares to begin. They'd haunted my dreams frequently since my mum's death and I knew they'd most likely have me waking up screaming again tonight.

The next morning I ate breakfast as my two friends chattered nonstop. I looked up at the enchanted ceiling that reflected the weather outside. It was raining. Without really thinking about what I was doing I stood up and headed toward the exit.

"Lily!" Mary ran to catch up to me. She grabbed my arm. "Where are you going? We have class in like five minutes!"

I stared at her until she shifted uncomfortably and dropped my arm. I walked away, leaving her standing just outside the Great Hall looking confused and worried.

As soon as I was outside the rain drenched my skin and hair and clothes. A flash of lighting lit up the sky with a burst of beautiful light followed by a rumbling roll of thunder. I thought I smelled my mother in the air. What if these raindrops were her tears? I could just imagine my mum up in heaven, crying for my pain. Did she miss me too?

I closed my eyes and let the rain soak me through.

"The storm's beautiful isn't it?"

I slowly opened my eyes. James Potter stood before me. He wasn't in his uniform but a pair of jeans and a white t-shirt, like he didn't plan on going to classes today. His head was tilted back as he stared up at the sky. "It sort of feels like you're falling when you look up at the rain," he commented, his voice full of wonder.

There was a brief moment of quiet before he spoke again, still looking upward, letting his face get soaked. "My parents used to go outside during the gentler rain storms and dance together. It was a strange tradition but one that they enjoyed. I would always stand in the doorway and watch. My dad would tell my mum how beautiful she looked even when her makeup ran down her face, leaving her looking like a smeared painting. She'd laugh and tell him that it was just the rain because the rain could make anything, even sadness, look beautiful in its own way." James finished and tilted his head down to meet my eyes with an expression I couldn't describe.

I liked his story, as odd as it was it was rather romantic, though I wondered at his use of past tense. Were his parents divorced? Had one of them died? I didn't really know much about James or his family. I wanted to ask him about it but the words still wouldn't come and I stayed silent.

"Do you hear the music?" James asked suddenly.

I listened but all I heard was the patter of rain. I shook my head, my brow furrowed in confusion as I questioned James' sanity.

"I hear it. It's in the sound of the rain and the wind in the trees. It's in the sound of our breathing and the beating of our hearts. I hear it, and it's beautiful." He took my hand and pulled me towards him. I stared at him curiously as he started to sway. Before I knew it we were dancing. It was strange, random, spontaneous, and… nice. Soon we were spinning around, our feet splashing in puddles.

For the first time in my life I really _looked_ at James Potter. His messy black hair stood up in the back still, even though it was wet. He blinked rain out of his stunning hazel eyes and smiled the way one might when reliving a happy memory they'd had with someone who wasn't around anymore. He pulled me closer to his body as we stopped spinning and began to sway like the song had become a slow love ballad. I realized just how nice and well toned the muscles of his arms and chest were as his wet t-shirt clung to his skin, going transparent. The warmth of his body broke through my cold, distant shell and I let out a sigh of relief.

I'd never really paid enough attention to James. He'd always just been that kid who asked me out a lot, was rather annoying, and could be a little funny on occasion. Now suddenly he was the only person I did notice. James' mother was right, the rain really did make everything more beautiful because he seemed to be glowing from within.

In my world of darkness James Potter had a touch of light about him.

The corners of my lips twitched upward and I smiled for what felt like the first time in a long time.

**Ending Note:**** So what did you think? Please review!**


	4. Chapter 4: The Fire Jewel

**Authors Note:**** Sorry, I'm a slow updater! But here's the new chapter. Finally. :) I'd like to thank **_**I am Siriusly loving Snape**__**, **__**KaceyO**__**, **__**22potterfan**__**, **__**Weasley-and-Proud**__**, Harry Potter Rules, and The Sky's the Limit **_**for their reviews! They make me so happy! You guys are amazing!**

**Chapter Four: The Fire Jewel**

"Lily I'm sorry that your mom died and that's horrible, I wish there was something I could do to help but your whole 'not talking thing' is going too far. It's not like emotional pain just steals away your voice. Just talk! This is getting kind of stupid!" Mary scowled.

Carter frowned at her. "Mary!"

"What?" she mumbled. "It's the truth!"

"That wasn't very nice McDonald," a deep voice scolded from right behind me.

A large, warm hand rested on my shoulder and gave a comforting squeeze. I looked up into the face of Sirius Black and stared in shock. He winked at me before turning his stern gaze back to Mary. Her eyes were bugging out in disbelief that Sirius was standing up for me against her when _she_ was usually the one protecting me from _his_ stupid pranks.

"Apologize to Lily," Sirius ordered as Mary and I continued to gape at him.

Carter looked strangely unsurprised. "He's right Mary that was really mean."

Mary sighed, staring at the ground. "Sorry Lily. I wasn't trying to hurt your feelings."

I tried to smile at her but it felt strained. Sirius seemed to notice. He gave my shoulder another squeeze. "You two won't mind if I borrow Lily will you?"

Carter raised her eyebrows. "Go ahead." Mary just sulked silently.

I got to my feet feeling confused. Why would Sirius Black want to 'borrow' me? With a dashing but slightly mischievous smile he took my hand and pulled me toward the boys' dormitories.

I tried to pull away at once. Did he really think I'd follow him up there? I wasn't stupid. Sirius smirked at me like he knew what I was thinking. "Look, I'm not going to try anything on you, James would murder me. James has a present for you and he asked me to find you for him. I'm an amazing friend so I did."

I rolled my eyes. So James was up there. Now I _really_ didn't want to go up there. Then again… something told me that he wouldn't try anything on me either. Maybe it had something to do with what had happened last week when he'd danced with me in the rain and said all the right things to make me feel better.

"James understands, at least partially, what you're going through. He lost his mom last year," Sirius told me suddenly, his eyes distant with sadness.

He understands. James understands my agony. With that thought I hesitantly reached for Sirius's hand. He took it with a soft smile. "Good choice."

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes again. Sirius led me to the boys' staircase. We climbed until we reached a door hung with a sign that read 'Marauders'. He pushed the door open, towing me into the room. "Special delivery for Prongs!" he hollered.

"Lily!" James was sitting on a bed looking overjoyed to see me. I gave him a small smile, unsure of what was going on. "Padfoot, out," James ordered.

Sirius snorted. "Yes _sir_. You're welcome by the way. You owe me." He winked at me and left the room, shutting the door behind him. I shifted uncomfortably feeling unsure.

"Don't worry I'm only going to give you a gift," James told me with a reassuring smile.

I nodded and stepped toward him. He held up a little golden box. It gleamed like something precious in the palm of his hand.

I gently took the box from him. He smiled. I lifted off the lid and gasped. The most beautiful necklace in the world lay cushioned in tissue paper. It had a thin silver chain that shone like moonlight. Hanging from it was what looked like a clear diamond made of glass with a small flame trapped inside. I watched in flicker, giving off a reddish glow as it changed colors.

"It's called a fire jewel," James told me. "Would you like me to help you put it on?"

I slowly nodded and turned so that my back was facing him. He slipped the necklace around my neck. I lifted my hair so that he could clasp it shut. I lightly touched it and turned back around with a hundred questions in my eyes.

"It was my mothers," he told me quietly.

My eyes widened. I couldn't take this. I immediately reached back to take it off but James caught my fingers, shaking his head.

"Sirius told you, didn't he?" James sighed. "Look," he explained when I nodded, "my mom wouldn't have minded me giving this to you. It's not like _I'll_ ever wear it. I'm sure mum would have liked you. So keep it please." His hazel eyes were intense as he released my hands from his grasp.

I stared at the black haired boy in confusion. Why was he giving this to me? James seemed to understand my confusion for he answered my unasked question at once.

"I thought a present might cheer you up a bit." He flashed me an adorable smile.

My heart softened at the sight and I lightly touched his arm, returning the smile in thanks. I was sure he would understand what I was trying to say. So far it seemed that he always did.

Feeling a little more cheerful than I had earlier I turned around. James walked me to the door and opened it for me. I tilted my head towards him in thanks and headed down the stairs. Mary, Carter, and Sirius were waiting for me at the bottom. Carter had an almost flirtatious look on her face as she talked with Sirius who leaned against the wall looking rather sexy with his playful smirk, his dark hair falling into his smoldering eyes. Mary looked miserable.

"Lily!" the blond girl cried as soon as she saw me. "I feel so terrible about what I said! I'm so sorry! Please forgive me!"

I couldn't help but smile at her dramatic despair. I pulled her into a hug.

"Oh thank you so…" she trailed off as her eyes rested on my new necklace. She pulled out of my embrace to better examine it. "Ooohhh," she sighed. "Did _James_ give you that? It's so pretty. It looks expensive."

Carter looked over Mary's shoulder. And Carter Bait who'd never cared for pretty things stared in awe. "It's beautiful," she whispered.

I glanced over at Sirius. He winked at me. That was the second time today. "It's called a Fire Jewel," he said.

Carter and Mary turned to stare at him. "How did you know?" Mary asked.

Carter rolled her eyes. "Obviously he would know. His best friend is the one who gave it to Lily."

Mary scowled at her.

"It belonged to James' mother," Sirius explained.

"He gave you his mother's necklace?" Mary sighed, quickly getting over her irritation at Carter. "That's so romantic!"

I felt a strange lurch in my stomach. _Romantic._ I wasn't sure if I wanted James doing anything romantic for me. Now I realized that our dance in the rain could be considered romantic as well. I'd never thought about it like that before. I'd just seen it as James, understanding me, comforting me. Of course I'd known he liked me. I wasn't stupid. He'd been asking me out constantly for years but I hadn't ever returned the feelings, and as much as I was starting to like him I still didn't like him in _that way_.

I bit my lip thoughtfully, distantly aware that Mary and Carter were arguing again. I met Sirius's eyes over Carter's head. That hint of sadness was in his expression again. For some reason I had the sudden urge to fling myself into his strong arms. I quickly fought the urge down. It was absolutely ridiculous.

There was no way in hell that I'd _ever_ fancy Sirius and I most certainly didn't fancy James Potter either, even though he did manage to lessen my pain, gave me beautiful gifts, and was a glow of light in my dark world.

**End Note:**** So? I don't know if this chapter turned out quite the way I wanted to… but it's still alright. Let me know what you think! Anything I can improve on? Anything that doesn't make sense or seems out of place? Just let me know what you think! I love to hear from you guys! So please review!**


	5. Chapter 5: The Match

**Author's Note:**** I know, I know I'm terrible at updating quickly. I try, I really do! This chapter isn't as emotional as the last four have been. It's more of… a sort of filler chapter. Not super important but it does build on the way Sirius feels about Lily just a bit. Hopefully it's not too bad, I felt like a rushed through it a bit but I didn't want to wait even longer to post so here it is!**

**Oh, and I wanted to thank everyone who reviewed the last chapter! **_**Jenna, **__**EnchantedWords17**__**, **__**ItDidntMeanForever**__**,**_ **and** _**The Sky's the Limit**_** all left me wonderful reviews! Thank you so much you guys! I really love hearing from you! **

**Chapter Five: The Match**

The days of October slipped by quickly. I began to get really good at nonverbal spells. I had to in order to pass my classes. In fact, by the time Halloween was approaching I'd nearly mastered every spell I knew without saying it. I was quite please with myself and the professors were rather impressed as well.

I spent the majority of my time with Mary and Carter and we were often joined by the Marauders thanks to my newfound friendship with them. Every so often James would take me on a walk, just the two of us, and tell me stories about his mother. I envied the casual way he could speak about her though occasionally I'd catch a look of deep sadness in his eyes.

James hadn't asked me out once since my mother's death. I was grateful. My opinion of him had improved considerably but I certainly didn't see him in a romantic light. He was simply a friend.

Then, as November began Quidditch season started up and I began to see a whole lot less of James. The first match against Slytherin approached quickly.

"Are you ready to go yet Lily?" Mary asked a little impatiently. "Sirius and Remus are waiting to walk to the match with us."

I finished zipping up my jacket and nodded.

"Patience is a virtue," Carter told Mary. "Sirius and Remus won't mind waiting for us. We still have fifteen minutes until the Quidditch match starts."

Mary let out a huff of breath to show her irritation. Carter ignored her and headed for the door. I followed close behind and Mary trailed after us scowling. We found Sirius and Remus in the common room. Carter was right, they didn't seem to mind waiting for us. They'd started up a game of exploding snaps. A small crowd of people huddled around them, cheering them on.

As we approached the group, the whole stack of cards exploded. Half of the crowd groaned in disappointment. The other half cheered. I watched as the losers began forking over money.

Remus glanced up and caught my eye. He gave me a kind smile and nudged Sirius. He looked up too and grinned. Once the money exchange was over they stood up and walked over to us.

"Hi," Remus gave a little wave.

"Hello ladies. Ready to watch Slytherin get their slimy butts kicked in Quidditch?" Sirius asked.

We all nodded enthusiastically. He chuckled, "Then let's go!"

It was chilly outside. A cold mist hung in the air, swirled around by a light, icy breeze. I shivered violently and tugged my robes tighter around me as we took our seats in the Gryffindor section.

"You ok Lils? You seem pretty cold?" Sirius murmured to me while we waited for the match to begin.

I shrugged as another shiver trembled through me. I should have brought a thicker coat like Carter and Mary had.

"Come here," Sirius ordered. He scooted closer to me and draped an arm around my shoulders. He pulled me close to him and I curled up against his side, shielded from the freezing cold breeze. I felt a bit uncomfortable at first being so close to Sirius, but I quickly relaxed when his intense body heat burned into me, soothing away my shivers.

I noticed Remus out of the corner of my eye shooting Sirius a warning look. He pointedly ignored the look. His grip on me tightened. I was confused but I wasn't able to convince myself to pull away and face the cold. Sirius was much too warm.

The match was a good one. Slytherin put up a good fight. The two houses were tied when James caught the snitch, ending the whole thing and winning a victory for Gryffindor.

As the team hoisted James onto their shoulders his gaze scanned the crowd until it met mine. He beamed, shaking the fist that clutched the snitch in the air. I smiled back giving him a thumbs up. He looked immensely please until he seemed to notice Sirius's arm around me. His gaze darkened as his eyes flickered to his best friend.

I felt a sudden surge of guilt, which was ridiculous seeing as I hadn't done anything wrong. I was just staying warm. Still I casually shrugged away from Sirius as I stood. Disappointment fluttered briefly across his features. I quickly turned away and followed Mary and Carter as they headed back toward the castle.

The common room was crazy with a post-match victory high. It wasn't as insane as the Quidditch Cup parties I'd been to but it was still a bit wild. Sirius, Remus, Mary, Carter, and I all grabbed butterbeers and huddled together. I listened as they discussed the match, nodding absentmindedly as I watched for James.

He arrived a few minutes later. My eyes followed him as he climbed through the portrait hole. His nose and cheeks were still pink with cold and his black hair was even messier and windswept than usual. He pushed his way through the crowded room until he reached our group.

"Good game right?" James grinned with a bit of his old arrogance in his expression. He flung an arm around my shoulders and pulled me against him possessively.

I didn't like that. James may be my friend now but I did _not_ belong to him. I scowled and shrugged his arm away. He dropped it without a fuss.

I sidled closer to Remus, putting a bit of space between James and I in case he tried to make another move while still high on his Quidditch victory.

Everyone knew better than to comment on my small rejection of James. Remus smiled a bit though and Mary stifled a giggle. Carter rolled her eyes and Sirius looked a bit pleased. I couldn't help but wonder what they'd do if one day I _didn't_ reject James.

**Ending Note: **** So what did you think? Not too rushed was it? I know it wasn't my best chapter but hopefully it still turned out ok? Let me know what you think! And if you see any spelling or grammar mistakes let me know so I can fix them! And thanks for reading!**


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